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When the mother assumes the role of the father after their divorce


In general, in all families there is usually a division of roles between the parents. Both the mother and the father have a responsibility and a commitment in the common project of forming a family and the children benefit and nurture from the different contribution of their parents.

Sometimes, it often happens that after a separation or divorce, the mother, who usually lives more with the children, tries to compensate or in some way supplant the absence of the father in the family home with the apparent and healthy intention that her child not resents changes in relationship with father. In the long term, what can this behavior represent to children?

he fact that the mother tries to assume the role of the father in the family is still a feeling of protection or guilt of the parents towards their children, for having deprived them of their old family relationship, but divorced mothers must understand that the father he will remain his father, they must not act as if he has died and his son suffers this inevitable loss. The father has to continue exercising his function and his role in the relationship with his children, even if the situation has changed.

Children cannot be prevented from suffering from separation from their parents. Divorce, when there are children, is not only a marital breakdown, it is also a family breakdown. In some cases, children are deeply affected in their emotions and affections, they tend to feel more irritable, depressed, distrustful or guilty.

How to avoid that the child suffers too much and can reestablish and accept a new relationship with their parents? The answer lies in the parents, children will only feel safe if there is respect among them and there are common guidelines in the care and education of their children.

Although it is difficult at first, the dialogue between the parents has to be constant. The child continues to need his father and mother, neither of them has to supplant the other, each one is unique and irreplaceable.

Impersonating the father or mother can lead to confusion, overprotection and concern about not being up to the new situation. For this reason, many children respond with guilty or insecure behaviors. Children need something safe like the unconditional love of their parents, whether under the same roof or not.

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