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Have you ever thought about all the causes of your anger? A misunderstood word? An alleged injustice? Someone who let you down? Always exists a cause of our anger. In the case of children, too. Do you want to know which are the most common in your case?
Discover 8 possible causes of anger in children and learn to detect them to quickly find the solution or the way to help.
It may be silly, something that passed our incredible mommy radar ... In fact, anger usually has a really complex cause behind it. But at last we have found them, with the possible causes of anger in children. At least, these are the most common, although you already know that each child is a world and each world has its own rules:
1. Impotence. The feeling of helplessness for not getting what you want is really terrible. A frustration that burns inside us. But temporary. Impotence is usually one of the main triggers for childhood tantrums. In that case, help the child learn to cope with frustration and understand that you cannot get everything you want.
2. Disappointment. It happens when the child creates high expectations about something and in the end, they are not met. At that moment, the child feels terribly cheated and disappointment leads to anger.
3. Sadness. As strange as it may seem, from sadness to anger there is a small step. Once we have overcome a 'duel' before something that made us fall into sadness, we can begin to become aware and suddenly go to the state of 'anger'. Imagine that your child's best friend calls him 'dumb' and tells him that he will never be his friend again. Surely, the first emotion your child feels is sadness ... but as time goes by, sadness will turn into anger because he will feel cheated. It also happens in the cases of children who do not feel loved.
4. Fear. Yes, another of the basic emotions that can lead us directly to anger. We refer to the fear of losing something. Imagine that your son, after spending the first year of his life close to you, has to go to school. On the first day, he may cry and kick, break out in a tantrum. But it's a tantrum stemming from the fear of losing you.
5. Impatience. Children are not usually very patient, no. They want something and they want it ... now! Hence, many of your anger have to do with impatience. To avoid this, there is nothing like promoting the value of patience through games and group activities.
6. Insecurity. Feeling insecure about something, low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence creates a feeling of 'anger with yourself'. The child wants to do something but does not dare, because he does not see himself capable of doing it ... and in the end comes disappointment and dissatisfaction for not having tried.
7. Problems communicating an emotion. Many children feel emotions but are unable to identify them and explain what they feel. This creates a feeling of unease that erupts in anger.
8. Pain from old wounds. When there is a scar from an emotional injury (for example, if you were humiliated), touching it again hurts. The child is not aware of why, but he feels pain and that leads to anger.
[Read +: Poetry about anger for children]
If by anger we mean a tantrum or a fit of anger, accompanied by yelling and tantrums, there is not much to do. show support but refuse to give in if the tantrum is on a whim or 'affective blackmail'.
However, when it is not a tantrum, but a deeper and more intense anger, it is convenient to help the child. At the very least, we can do the following:
1. Help your child recognize his anger. Sometimes the angry child is not able to realize what he is feeling. He only knows that he feels bad, but he is not able to name it or understand the emotion. It is good that we tell him 'you are angry, I know, and you feel bad' ...
2. Try to describe the feeling. Once your child knows that he is angry, you can help him to realize what that emotion is like: 'You feel a lot of anger, like a balloon about to burst ...'
3. Help him get out of that emotion. It is not bad to be angry. It is a basic emotion and often responds to frustrated desires. Anger also helps us to think and to reconsider and change some patterns or behaviors. You can help your child, once he has become aware of how he feels, to get out of anger by relaxing. Breathing plays an important role here, but you can also use other techniques, such as mental avoidance through the calm boat, the 'anger box' method, or counting, as the turtle technique taught us. .. Any method that involves getting away from the emotion of anger will do.
You can read more articles similar to 8 causes of anger in children, in the category of Conduct on site.