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My son is great! And yours ?: Comparisons are hateful


Although we have all at some time been tempted to make comparisons of our children with other children, especially with the healthy intention of changing a behavior that we believe is inappropriate in them, I believe that, in most cases, it is not fair even to our children or for anyone, that we are comparing them as if they were a product.

Comparing the price of products, or the quality of clothes, etc., is necessary, but comparing a child with another child makes no sense and does not contribute anything to children or their parents.

On one occasion I was walking with my little niece, her name is María; We went alone, without his mother, and went into a children's establishment to spend the afternoon. There a mother approached me with her beautiful 10-month-old girl and, to start a conversation, she kindly commented to me how funny Maria was and asked me the usual "how old is she?" I replied that it was a long year and I let her know, in turn, how beautiful her little girl was. That was all it took to puff up with pride.

Then, comparing his daughter with María, he released a string of virtues and charms of his little girl: "at five months, her first teeth came out, she sleeps all night, eats marvelously, says many little words, does all kinds of thank you that brings us crazy with happiness ... "We spent almost ten minutes, in which I also added surprised questions such as:" But does your girl have no teeth yet? "," She still can't walk? ", wanting to point out that From her experience, my niece was delayed in her motor and physical development, for her age. You can imagine that the lady's impressions were becoming more and more annoying.

Although my niece was happy exchanging toys with the little girl in the store and I listened politely, her continual comparisons and questions seemed somewhat malicious to me. My lack of experience in children created in me a certain uneasiness about whether or not María's evolution was correct, since as that mother well noted, she did not have a single tooth in her mouth and although she stood up quite easily, she did not walk yet.

Surely you, too, have ever run into someone who boasts that their child is terrific, in some way comparing it to yours. Well, apart from the fact that in these cases we may feel a certain discomfort or even "desire for revenge", we must keep our feet on the ground, be realistic to appreciate, like the virtues of our children, the possible defects or limitations that may have, to assess the achievements of our children without the need for comparisons.

Patro Gabaldon. Editor of our site

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