We know that you cannot generalize. It is true that many of us, perhaps even you, have had parents who have made one of these mistakes, and you consider yourself quite normal. But many psychologists, eager to find out why many of our neuras or psychosocial problems as adults, They dive into the past, looking for parental mistakes that could mark us forever.
And yes, it is true that many of the mistakes we make as parents can creep into our child's subconscious and stay huddled for years, until one day, suddenly, they decide to show themselves, unfortunately for the adult, in all their fullness. Here you have up to 7 psychological problems generated by parents' mistakes (in some cases).
Many studies strive to find the reasons for our emotional imbalances and adult communication problems. And just as psychoanalysis searches the 'swampy' fields of our most hidden self, other psychologists they prefer to focus on the education we receive as children. These are some of his conclusions to try to explain why we have the problems that we have when we grow up based on the mistakes that our parents made (unintentionally):
1. Tendency to depression and anxiety. There are people who tend to 'catch' and stay with the negative side of things. They are pessimists who frequently fall into anxiety and even depression. And although depression is a very complex disease, which is even said to have a hereditary component, it has also been associated with excessive control in childhood.
They refer to the so-called 'helicopter parents', who are constantly aware of everything in their children's lives, thinking that they are doing them a great favor. What they do, however, is that their child loses autonomy and needs in the future someone who will generate confidence in their adulthood. If they do not find it, they fall into anxiety and even depression.
2. Addiction to extreme sports. Have you ever wondered why some people feel from a very young age that need to play sports in which they know their lives are at stake? Reckless? Brave? Psychologists study the relationship with this need to a lack they had as children: their parents were in charge of constantly making it clear that their birth had a negative effect on their life.
Do not panic, because they refer to the typical parents who often say to their children: 'we were better off without you' ... 'Our life would be better without you'. In extreme cases, experts say that this feeling of 'getting in the way' in life can lead to self-destructive behavior and lead to life-threatening addictions, including drug addiction, as adults. What I care about, does not mean that all those who practice extreme sports have had parents of this type.
3. Insomnia problems. Many adults report their trouble sleeping. Work, family ... They feel like a slab that prevents them from resting. They are overly responsible and self-demanding people. Psychologists point out that it is a very typical problem of people whose parents demanded too much of them, who bombarded them with phrases such as: 'Don't behave like a child, you have to be serious.' 'Let's see if you mature now at once'.
4. Constant desire to be like others. Yes, there are people who shine for their overflowing personality, and others who, on the other hand, only focus on copying others. These second ones are those that drag a low self-esteem from small. As they are unable to value themselves, they look for the qualities that shine the most in others to resemble them.
And why do they have such low self-esteem? Among many other causes, one of them has to do with the mania of many parents to compare their children with others. 'Let's see if you get the marks of your brother' ... 'Look how your cousin plays football well ... you could be like him'. 'Look how well that child sings ... I wish you would sing that well ...'.
5. 'Peter Pan' syndrome. It happens to many adults, who seem to constantly look for partners who treat them like a father or mother, who refuse to grow up, to commit, to take responsibility. Psychologists think it has to do with the education they received as children, overprotective.
The typical parents who do not give responsibility to children from a young age, who end up doing all the tasks and solving all the problems, generate a lack of maturity in their children that they can drag into their adulthood.
6. Passivity and lack of initiative. If you constantly say to a child: 'Stop fooling around' ... 'Stop dreaming, dreams are useless' ... what do you expect? You can do two things: rebel and prove that your parents are wrong or let yourself be carried away by the words of your parents and definitely stop believing in dreams and hide in the background, in the shadow of the rest. Why take the initiative and try anything, if you were told from a young age that it was useless?
7. Problems expressing emotions. Many adults have a terrible time showing their emotions in public. They are not capable of crying or laughing without running into that psychological 'wall' that stops them. This is due, among other things, to the fact that as children they repeated too often those terrible phrases of: 'do not cry', 'Do not laugh like a hyena', 'They do not cry for nonsense', 'Being afraid is cowardly' ...
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